Building that muscle
So is empathy something you’re born with, or something you build?
Yes.
We’re all born with a certain amount of empathy. We’re biologically hardwired for it as humans, at least, most of us are. But can you learn it?
The good news is that since most people have some empathy, we don’t really have to learn it, we have to practice it. We’ve all heard that practice makes perfect, but really, it makes permanent. It’s like lifting weights: you already have muscles, but you can train them, strengthen them, and build on what you already have.
Think of empathy like a skill, like playing a sport, learning a musical instrument, or fixing cars. You might have a certain amount of talent, but that talent will only get you so far. Then your only choice is to get better, and that takes…practice.
My favorite example is Michael Jordan, one of the GOATs in basketball. But did you know he was cut from his high basketball team his sophomore year? No joke, Michael freaking Jordan. He’d been a talented freshman and showed a lot of promise, but his talent only took him so far, so he worked harder, and he practiced, and he grew his skills. We already know the rest of that story.
Here’s the thing. He could’ve chosen to be ‘good enough’ and not worked to be better. He could’ve been fine with the talent fate handed him and not done any more. But that wasn’t good enough. He wanted more, and he went for it.
I don’t see anyone being the GOAT of empathy, but imagine what would happen if instead of saying “whelp, I guess that’s all I’ve got, no need to work at this”, people thought “I can do better, and it will create a better life for me, for everyone around me, and for the whole world”.
Empathy isn’t about being perfect. It’s about building the strength to show up human, again and again. So ask yourself: are you exercising your empathy muscle, or letting it atrophy?
Because just like with fitness, if you don’t use it—you lose it.
By the way, the best time to start building empathy was yesterday. The second-best time is today.
