Be the willow
I’m a Seth Godin fan going way back. He has a way of distilling ideas down into bite-sized nuggets of wisdom. In a world where everyone is making more noise, it’s refreshing. Shakespeare said that “brevity is the soul of wit”. Seth’s blog is exhibit A.
His tidbit for August 24 had to do with empathy or, more to the point, what happens without empathy. I think he’s defining empathy as an understanding and respect for others, which I agree is part of it. He talks about heavy traffic or Grand Central Station pedestrians, and how, even though it’s utter chaos, it works. His thought is “when we exchange appropriate spacing and yield when we can, connections occur and we can flow forward”. BRAVO Seth!
Of course my reaction as the ‘Empathy Queen’ isn’t unexpected, but it’s worth emphasizing the role of empathy as something that can help us achieve more by removing the ‘me’ and adding the ‘we’ to the equation. This doesn’t mean we allow others to walk all over us or just submit to every request, but it does emphasize how when we’re willing to yield to a greater vision, we can do it. Collaboratively. Together.
Here in the US we prize our rugged individualism, and there’s nothing wrong with that, to a degree. But I sometimes wonder if we’re missing a bigger picture by not being more open to understanding the point of view of The Other. At the very least, it might be nice not to be so divided and to understand how yielding a little can give a lot. Leaders, I’m looking at some of you when I say that.
Most of us already know the story of the oak and the willow, but for those who don’t, it goes like this. An oak grew in the forest, tall and strong. He nurtured small animals and birds in his branches, and harbored many who depended on him. One day he saw a willow in the clearing a little ways off. “Willow, you seem so weak. When the wind blows, you twist and sway. Don’t you want to be like me? Tall and strong and unyielding even to the greatest winds”?
“Ah but my strength lies in my ability to yield and bend”, said the willow. “You may withstand most winds, but what happens when a wind stronger than you appears”? The oak laughed and decided the conversation wasn’t worth his time.
That night a raging storm descended on the forest. Because the oak couldn’t bend, he was ripped from the ground by his roots. The next morning he lay on the ground, his roots bared to the air, destruction all around. All of the animals that had depended on life in his branches were gone, and the earth beneath him was completely in chaos. The willow, however, was bruised but still in her earth and alive. Because she could yield to the wind, she was able to be resilient in the face of a catastrophe that ended the mighty oak and left the animals that had depended on him homeless and battered, or worse. Those that live by brute strength are often ended by an inability to let go of it, and leave a wake of destruction, especially for those that depend on them. Those that show strength through resilience and a willingness to yield to the ‘we’ can live and thrive, even in the face of unprecedented chaos. Something to think about.
