But what if it were you?
“What’s the one actionable insight you can give leaders when it comes to using empathy”?
This is the top question I get, whether it’s on podcasts, in articles, or just on LinkedIn. Since I’m the one talking about making empathy actionable, people want to know where to begin. That really makes me happy, honestly, and it’s a simple first step.
Ask yourself how you would feel if you were looking through the other person’s eyes.
Here’s the long and short of it: people think empathy is about feeling, but that’s only a small part of it. Empathy is about perspective taking, which means seeing the world from the other person’s perspective. People will often try to see the other person’s point of view, but through their own eyes, with their own judgements and baggage. That’s not empathy, that’s sympathy. With empathy, you need to see through the other person’s eyes, which means no judgement, just understanding.
If it’s something you’re not used to doing, it’s harder than it seems. In the beginning, I usually spend a ton of time with my clients developing this skill. But it IS a skill, and it can be developed and practiced. And woah, once you learn it, the returns are exponential, because you now have a skill that not everyone knows how to use.
So let’s start today, and start with the easy stuff. Try to see the world through the eyes of your spouse, your work bestie, even your cat (because believe it or not, empathy passes between animals and humans too). No judgement. No putting your own experiences on the other person. It’s just getting the perspective of the other person, and that’s it.
It’s both the easiest and the hardest thing you might do today, but if it were easy, everyone would be doing it.
