HOW many definitions of empathy??

Yeah, this is another question I get all the time when I bring up that there’s more than one definition of empathy.  43 to be precise, since empathy was set apart as a specific emotion around the 1900’s.  It’s no wonder people get confused about it – even the researchers don’t agree on what it is!

We’ve already talked about emotional empathy, which is the “I feel what you feel” one.  We also talk about cognitive empathy, which is when you logically understand what another person is feeling, but don’t feel anything. We even talk about self-empathy, because if you can’t have empathy for yourself, how can you ever have it for someone else?  But wait, there’s more!  So by popular demand, let’s name a few other kinds of empathy, just to really make things confusing!

There’s something called ‘empathic concern’, but there’s more than one definition coming from 2 different sources.  (Remember I said even the researchers get confused?  Yeesh). Depending on the source, this one could be more like sympathy where you’re seeing the other’s perspective, but through your own eyes. Or it could just be the desire to see from the other person’s perspective.

There’s somatic empathy which is when you have a physical (not emotional) reaction to another person’s feelings.  If someone is dealing with grief I’ll tend to feel it like a lump in my throat or a tightening in my chest, but it’s a physical sensation.  

Compassionate empathy is when you focus on what it takes to help another person instead of focusing on the feelings.  Remember how we said that empathy is what you feel and compassion is what you do?  This is where they intersect.

And there’s motor empathy, which is when you subconsciously mirror another person’s facial expressions or body language.  It’s a way of almost literally trying to understand another person by being ‘in their body’.  

What’s the one thing these all have in common?  They’re all seeking to understand the other person in one way or the other, but none except one are about feelings.  

So today as you go out into the world, take a second and see how many kinds of empathy you spot, either in yourself or in others.  After all, awareness really IS the first step to intentional leadership.

Remember: Empathy isn’t one thing, it’s many things that show us how to relate human-to-human.  And it’s so much more powerful than most people realize