Myth #3: Feeling it isn’t fixing it

We’ve been over the myth that empathy is only about feeling, so I won’t beat that drum in this post.  If you’re here and reading this, you already have an inkling that empathy goes way deeper than that. Feelings are just the tip of the iceberg.

Empathy is about taking the perspective of the other.  But what does that mean?

On the surface it does mean you should “walk a mile in the other person’s shoes” before judging them.  We all know that empathy and judgement can’t exist in the same place.  But then what?

Just experiencing the other person’s point of view is only the beginning. That’s conceptual empathy.  It’s just a warm feeling and while it sounds wise, it’s wildly incomplete. It’s not empathy: it’s just observation.

What we want is strategic empathy.  It’s actionable. It’s dynamic. And it gets results.

Let’s be clear: any empathy is good. But using it actionably to get results like productivity and profit better.

I work with an executive who is reflective and works to understand the perspective of his people.  He’s usually really good at articulating why his younger employees feel disengaged, how his people struggle with burnout, and the details of the job that are causing people to leave.  He conceptually got it.  But he wasn’t able to strategically integrate it into his leadership.

He didn’t need to feel more.  He needed to lead differently.

Empathy isn’t a thought experiment: it’s a strategic advantage and performance strategy. It’s not enough to take another’s perspective: you have to understand what that perspective means to them, to their fears and hopes, and utilize that information in decision making and leadership. Until you can do that, empathy isn’t anything more than a warm feeling.  It’s nice, but not especially useful.

Understanding is a great first step, but execution and action are where results happen.